Mishit.

I look you in the eye
and address you
as you shrink away
everyone does it
taking shamelessly
I run you out
a bullet dodged

* note to self

I will write a poem this weekend.

I will. I will.

FML if i won’t be able to. :))

Lyrically Constipated.

i could write about the warm sunset, and how it can give us serenity.
i can write about nature and all the beauty it possess.
or i can tell you everything about love and pain and everything in between,
but i can’t seem to put everything in place,
my mind is empty.
i can think about the bright blue sky and the optimism it gives.
or think about the dolphins and how they freely swim.
maybe i can just look back and make a tell-tale about the past and memories uncovered,
but that would be too much for my mind to ponder,
and who cares anyway so it doesn’t seem to matter.
maybe some things are better left unsaid,
but isn’t it best to share how you see things with your eyes, and let everyone get a taste of it?
i want to eradicate all of my emotions from my insides,
and turn them into words,
but my words went on a vacation,
and they didn’t take me with them. :(

Eternity defined.

Listen, the wind has finally set in
cool summer breeze brushed along the lines of our faces
i touched yours and you return the gesture
how long has it been since you said your first hello?
since i last waved goodbye?
the memories seems to fade
but they are encrypted well at the back of our eyelids
will you ever get tired of me?
or boredom ceases to exist from the both of us?
i inhaled fresh lilacs from the garden of our lovenest
will the flowers wither in time?
will you plant again and flourish them when it happens?
will you still be there to water them when the next summer’s drought come?
will you be rocking my chair while i am looking at little  angels picking stars from the pavement?

My stars and YOU.

the starshines look down upon me,
i didn’t make any sound, nor make a move.
it’s the same old night, like any other nights,
with only stars to accompany me.
i listened to the gentle chirps of the crickets,
and began to wonder,
is Mulan a fool to believe her cricket is really lucky,
or am i just too judgmental to give any second thoughts?
and i look back to the footprints i made,
and yes i am alone,
but i feel that i made four markings on the pavement.
i wrinkled my nose,
sweep the surroundings with my eyes.
i inhaled heavily and the ocean’s scent caught my attention,
or is it not the ocean?
i ran, i fell, i stood up with chin held up but a tear about to fall.
and finally i settled in, beside the green bushes, under the ancient tree.
i looked at the sky, now starless,
i wondered, got up and started shouting “i have nothing now! please, not the stars. they’re all i have.”
i slumped down, silently sobbing,
and whimpering “not them, not them. no, not them.”
and when i felt like darkness is engulfing me,
i felt strong, warm arms wrapping me, and light, blinding light.
“you came back.” disbelief crossed over my face.
“yes” you lovingly whispered “i came back, with the stars with me.”
and i breathed new life.

concrete heart cries and missing you.

This cities concrete heart
Not beating
Beneath me
I hear it loud and clear
The screaming
The needing
Colours of, futility
Its silent
So violent
The sky is red when you’re not here

This red line
Undermines
The summer
So cold here
I’ll follow
I’ll find you
Feel the rest
The kiss
Cover up
And call me now my dear

Its nothing
Its something
Everything,
Everything
Beats beneath my feet
Be still now
Be here now
The old soul
Can you hear?
My city calls your name.

and for you, i fall..

You’re just the same as all the rest.
Cute, but dense.
Simple and stupid.
But funny.
Ridiculous.
I shouldn’t even want you.
I shouldn’t even care.
Somehow, though, I do.
It goes against everything I am,
but maybe that’s why Im attracted to you.
You’re everything I’m not.

It’s like standing in the surf.
Seafoam swirling around my feet,
pulling me further out,
tricking me with its beauty,
beckoning and trapping me.
With all my senses alive and burning,
I don’t realize there’s an undertow until
it’s too late.

And when water fills my lungs
I only think of you.

annihilation

I have this strange dream.
Of a room bathed in red.
The scene is utter chaos
but it’s silent.
I don’t understand it.

I take it with me every day
carry it in my pocket.
i’m begining to think that
I can tell my future,
and the apocalypse may be
part of it.

It frightens me that
I can see the end of days.
Sometimes, if I focus,
I can even smell the aftermath
of anhiliation.

I imagine
a new world order.
Everyone looks exactly the same
clones, carbon copies.
And it doesn’t bother me.

To be honest, it’s comforting to know
that when we are all reborn
there will be no differences.
The world will be truly be one.

reminiscing (solitary confinement)

You will remember the silence.
The warmth around you
floating—scent-like—in the room.
The timid moonlight
blanketing his face.

The night is friendly to your shallow breath—
fears and hopes
commingling in your chest—
he hides all trembling
(poor hesitant hands),
he smooths all quavering
(hummingbird voice,
tension of storm),
he is a calm, protective blanket
wrought of peace.
He breathes with you,
the other beauty in the room:
eternal, distant,
close as every secret hope you have.

And after (soon it comes)
breath with transparent breath
engage in their smoke-turning dance
around your lips and his
and cheeks and noses, eyes closed open
little insubstantial gasps for breath
more breath and then you see
the world is infinite and hiding in his eyes
you will remember. The silence.

next to you

Struggling for meaning

In a bitter state of mind

Questioning and dreaming

Or something of that kind

Perhaps in the morning

I’ll wake with a better view

Maybe in the morning

I’ll wake up next to you