Means to love without restraint and without that little voice that makeshifts thoughts in your head. To believe in his words, because his word is truth, and if it wasn’t truth, love makes it that way. To be able to give without wanting anything else in return, because your love is enough to satisfy both. Love without shame, that your love is that complete. Wear it aloud, and say it...
Slowly, the truth comes out.
This is me, piece by piece, mistake by mistake. If I never said a word, it didn’t have to have been true. The past, after all, is a different country, somewhere far away where I no longer am. So many things, but not here, not now. Yet here they are, the ways I’ve gone wrong; not once, twice for good measure. And I finally learned to say no, and it finally hurt exactly as much as I...
Some days I just let myself sink deeper. Other days I’m scratching at the walls of this hole, exhausting myself trying to climb back up. I always end up in the same place.
I live in this sick unrealistic world where i expect the man i love to drop it all for me because i would for him. Instead he looks at me with despair not understanding why i wince when he speaks.
Overthinking is a killer.
I’m having a hard time putting my feelings into words today. I would love to admit that I have lost the coldness in my voice and the coldness in my mind, I haven’t. I still find myself feeling blue. I feel blue about things that don’t exist in my life anymore. Old loves, old friends, and ghosts of people who no longer walk this earth. Often, I find myself running back to...
Dark spaces, and I am seeking answers in every nook and crevice. The tears appear like clockwork, and memories echo through my head, down my chest, in my gut. Eating has become a chore. I am cold, cold, cold. Today, I realized my ability to reason with myself. My indifference to most things provides objective grounds for reasoning, but my emotions at times entangle themselves in my arguments....
I should take my vitamins, really
I’m tired again. I’ve bent too far again. I need the world to melt for a moment, again, please. I want to dissolve. This ball of nerves, of oughts and musts… it won’t untangle. I keep thinking in contrasts. In what matters and what does not. Warmth matters. Support matters. The way I can crumble over little things, because the big things are in their places. I want to...
Every not thing is every every thing
I see everything, and I see nothing at all, because everything is nothing at all. Every not thing is every every thing. I see everything through a pirate’s misplaced or sometimes even stolen telescope, but it is not a regular pirate’s telescope when I look through it, which is all of the time. It’s all very curious, let me tell you. It’s almost an upside down pirates...
I am so content with only You
I will guard your heart like a pitbull I pray for you everyday because I like attaching a big halo to you I like that God gives us the power to do that To bless each other I want to bless you everyday, countless times Tell God to touch you in all of the ways I cannot
Do you know how it feels like to be fine and dandy during the day and when you lie down in your bed at night, the uneasiness creeps through your bones till your stomach retches? All you do is wiggle yourself around, twist and turn for umpteen of times only to realize that you are breaking out in cold sweat and panting because of the sporadic convulsions that you have from crying? Do you know...
Eyes wide shut
I want to confront the emptiness and give myself up to it. Do you know that moment when you wake from sleep? That moment when you can’t move or breathe or talk or blink. Something hasn’t clicked right, your body doesn’t respond to your brain and you worry that you will die without air. Panicked, you wonder if someone will save you while you feel consciousness slip away. But...
Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do so much for them. Not everything is reciprocated. More often than not, people learn the hard way.
Rake those fingers down my throat, again.
Please, try to claw your way out. I am, I am. I’m trying to get out of here; out of this body; out of this place. My throat torn and harsh vocals escape through parched, cracked lips. You hate me. You destroy me. I know why. Seeing as you feel a need to do so when I can no longer please you. Feed your ego? Why, yes sir. Pardon me, but how do you presume I live in this?
I am too young to feel so old.
On moments like these, I sit in silence. 3:27am appears at the top right of my desktop. Once upon a time, 3:27 was early. I keep telling myself, I am too young to feel so old. I am torn inside by a girl who wants to partake in irresponsible behavior and a woman who knows she has responsibilities to take care of. If only it were possible, I would close my eyes right now and make the bad...
Ask me a question– ask.fm/driftingseema
So fuck you
I’m flying away and you won’t be able to follow me unless you tie rainbow-coloured kites to your ankles. (Please do, please do, the sky’s so empty without you.)
“Do you trust me?” He nods. When he returns the question my face retreats into blank incapacity and I take another drag from my cigarette. Stay of execution. I’m not comfortable enough to let him in just yet. He hasn’t opened a book in months, yet he makes a tremendous effort to read my actions, my silences, my downcast eyes. I’m afraid he’s already seen more than that which I cared to reveal....
I’ve felt it for a while now, never knowing quite what it was. That pulsing, throbbing black hole in my chest. It doesn’t hurt, exactly. It’s just feels like I cannot breathe. And then, when I feel like curling into a ball and forgetting everything, HE talks to me. It could be anything, maybe just a smile. But that smile electrifies everything in my body. The black hole closes,...
I’m naturally a very chaotic person. I think that people who are neat are either intrinsically inclined to be organized and clean or they were brought up to be that way. Their parents probably trained them from a young age to pick up their toys when they’re done with them, or to clean up their bottoms after they poo’ed. It’s so hard for me to keep up with a clean room. I...
Then the questions became answers
You know it’s funny sometimes how when all your hopes have seemingly shattered, you begin to find something to hold on to, a new and different hope perhaps that has spawned from a foundation of desperation. Grasping desperately onto the shattered pieces and fragments, you begin to question every part of yourself in an attempt to find that last hopeful notion. Questions of your own...
Frustration at it's finest
I keep saying I want to make these changes I keep saying I want to make these changes I keep saying I want to make these changes I keep saying I want to make these changes But how do I fucking do it?
Where trains, ghosts and love meet
I think railroad tracks are awesome. To sit on, to walk along, or to take pictures of. I like to stare at them and think of all the good and bad things that trains bring. I mean, they could run you over and kill you and you could die a horrible death, but they could also take you to a faraway place. Like maybe somewhere awesome that you’ve never been before. Maybe you might even fall in love...
The pain, it was just there; all of the voices and sounds were so loud, right in front of me. They stopped. I watched their mouths, feebly attempting to pick out the words, although nothing came to my ears. The silence I had always wished for? I was not ready, when it arrived. To be grateful, I was not prepared.
Time to shape up
Light years away from the world… I really can’t think straight and I am unsure as to whether or not I am doing the right things for me. When did I get so cold? Unforgiving, even to myself, for trivial mistakes. Honest mistakes. And, God, when did I get so lazy?